


Winter Bird

by Dreamying



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-08 23:12:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8867137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamying/pseuds/Dreamying
Summary: With winter comes love.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Cross post from aff. 
> 
> I love 'winter bird' alot, so wanted to start my ao3 journey with this.

The winter is fluttering its wings, spreading the cold breezes.

The winter where the days are shorter and Nights are longer..

But tonight the night seems the longest he had ever experienced, never ending.

Will this night ever end?

 

The pounding of his heart against his rib cage is both ear deafening and painful. Sometimes he wishes it stops, then he might be able to escape the pain.

The hospital white walls are so painfully dull, just like his dull life.

Tossing around in the bed a few times with so much difficulty, and wide-awake eyes. He heaves a sigh, before reaching out for the small spiral binded book.

It's as big as his palm, with worn out pages.

 

  
**Dear Diary..**

Soo thinks someone moved into the small house next to us, cause Soo saw the boy creepily staring at Soo’s window, and there was a truck too. Mama says it's not that creepy. But Soo thinks its so Creepy.

 

  
**Dear Diary..**

It's been a week since the short kiddo, moved, yes.. Mama told Soo, the woman is friendly enough. And the kiddo.. ah.. he has a name Jingin? Jangin? Jagi?  
Soo can’t remember, whatever Soo is not interested, that kid doesn't look Soo’s style. But yeah.. mama says we can be friends. Tsk.. Soo’s doesn’t think so.

 

**Dear Diary..**

The kids gets on Soo’s nerve, wanna know why?

He keeps staring at Soo’s window. And that’s not even the whole point, he draw something on Soo’s willy. He draw a dog on Willy.. how dare he? Soo saw it with the help of binarclues..

Soo wants to go and scold him, but mama says Soo can’t go out yet.

Soo can’t wait till winter comes.

 

  
**Dear Diary..**

Soo’s tutor hyung said, that kiddo, its Jongin by the way, yes now Soo can remember the name, cause Soo is intelligent and I still have to scold for drawing ugly dog on willy.

Ah.. what Soo saying is, that ugly drawer is good at math than Soo. L

Soo told Mama, but Mama said, Soo doesn’t need to study hard.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Tutor Hyung said Soo shouldn’t write Soo. Soo should use I. Soo knows it long back But Soo like writing Soo.

Soo will continue to write it as Soo, Cause Soo can. Hah!

 

  
**Dear Diary..**

In few days, it will be winter. Mama said Soo can go out. Soo can’t wait to go out. And yes, that kiddo is still creepy and stares at Soo’s window.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Its finally winter, woah… I went out its so cold but Soo likes winters better. Mama baked Soo cup cakes. It was yummy.. what was the word.. ah its delicious.

But mama made Soo give it to the Jongin kid. Soo didn’t want to, but mama made that face again. So…

Soo still doesn’t like the kid, he has weird smile and he looked funny without the front teeth.

 

**Dear Diary..**

That Jongin kid isn’t that bad.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Soo let Jongin share his willy, for now, till his tree grows as big as willy.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Jongin lost his puppy monggu last year. Soo let him draw another puppy on willy.

 

**Dear Diary..**

It was first snow today, Jongin and Soo played with it, and had so much fun.

Jongin made a fairy with snow. So girly, haha.. don’t tell him. Shh… but it was cute.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Soo doesn’t want winter to end. Soo wants to play with Jongin.

 

**Dear Diary..**

*tear drops on page*

 

  
**Dear Diary..**

Jongin came to play with Soo, Soo was happy.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Jongin goes to school and made so many friends, will Jongin come to visit Soo ?

Soo is waiting by the window.

 

 **Dear Diary.**.

Jongin has so many friends, Cant Soo be the only one? Like how Soo has only Jongin.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Tutor Hyung scolded Soo. Soo is sad, Soo wants to study hard, sing well too.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Jongin learns Ballet.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Today mama is angry with Soo, but Soo didn’t do anything.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Soo heard mama talk on phone, Appa wont come again.

 

**Dear Diary..**

I miss Jongin.

 

  
**Dear Diary..**

Jongin won’t come as often, will he leave like appa left us?

 

**Dear Diary..**

Soo wants winter to come fast.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Its finally winter again. Soo cant wait to play with Jongin.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Soo is very happy, Soo played a lot with Jongin.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Mama said, its first snow today, Soo is waiting for Jongin to come.

 

 

**Dear Diary..**

Its Christmas, Soo made a card for Jongin. Soo hopes Jongin will like it.

 

  
**Dear Diary..**

Soo is happy with Jongin.

 

**Dear Diary..**

I hope its winter for ever.

 

.

  
.

  
.

  
.

  
.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Why my heart goes Dabum Dabum when I see Jongin.

.  
.

  
.

  
.  
.

 

**Dear Diary..**

I saw Jongin brought a girl home today, why does my heart hurts?

 

  
**Dear Diary..**

I think I like Jongin.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Is liking Jongin weird?

When I told him, he looked at me, weirdly.

.  
.

  
.

  
.  
.

**Dear Diary..**

Its finally winter, Jongin took me to coffee (date?)

 

 

**Dear Diary..**

I bought Jongin a sweater, will he like it?

 

**Dear Diary..**

JONGIN KISSED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**Dear Diary..**

Winter is over, so is our time together. Jongin is busy again.

 

.

.

.

.

**Dear Diary..**

I hate Jongin.. he.. he kissed the girl.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Jongin is a bastard, he knows I saw. I fucking hate him.

 

.

.

.

.

**Dear Diary..**

I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate everyone.

I hate Jongin.

 

 **Dear Diary.**.

I miss winters.

 

**Dear Diary..**

I miss brown eyes, brown messy locks. Tanned skin. I can never get tan.

 

 

.

.

.

 

**Dear Diary..**

I wish I can go back to good old days. Ahh.. only thing I don’t miss is, tutor hyung’s nagging.

 

.

.

.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Will I be able to see the first snow with Jongin?

.

.

.

.

 

**Dear Diary..**

  
I love Jongin , who has a girl friend but kisses me with the same lips, he kissed her.

What a bastard!!

 

  
**Dear Diary..**

 

Jongin asked, “what do you want from me Soo?” he was angry, when I asked him ‘ what I am to you?’

But I should be the one to be angry. I am not the one who is kissing two different people. But I remained silent, I don’t want Jongin to leave me, like appa left mama.

 

.

.

.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Jongin called me disgusting cause I gay.

 

  
**Dear Diary..**

Jongin said sorry, I forgive him. Again.

 

.

.

.  
.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Its Christmas, what should I give Jongin? I am running out of ideas.

 

 

  
**Dear Diary..**

We made love.

I gave my first time to Jongin.

Sure we were a little drunk but still It was amazing.

Jongin said he loves me too.

I am the happiest man on earth.

 

.

.

.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Jongin bought that girl home again. My heart, it hurts so bad. I want to run and slap him.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Jongin said sorry, but I can’t forgive him this time.

.

 **Dear Diary.**.

Jongin brought flowers to me, he said he is really sorry.

He looked sad too, I don’t like sad Jongin, so.. I forgave him.

But the truth is.. I love him too much to stay mad at him.

My internet friends calls me fool.

 

May be I am.. a fool in love.

 

.

 

.

.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Whats gotten into Jongin?

He was so rough, my butt hurts.

I can’t even sit properly.

 

.

.

.

.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Jongin left to go to college. I wish I can go to college too and make lots of friends. ( and be with Jongin may be.)  
He said he will call me.

.

.

.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Jongin don’t have time for me. I am envious of everyone who can be with Jongin.

.

.

.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Jongin said, he is fed up with my shit.

But I don’t know what I did? I just called him twice today.

.

.

.

.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Jongin is in relationship with her. What the fuck?

 

.

.

.

 

**Dear Diary..**

She posted my selfie I sent to Jongin on fb with sick stalking faggot.

I just.. just what did I ever do to her?

Is loving Jongin crime?

Everyone is making fun of me, and everyone is telling me to die and posting offensive messages on my fb wall. I had to deactivate. I tried to call Jongin but he isn’t picking up.

Am I really sick?

Cant I love ?

.

.

.

**Dear Diary..**

Don’t I deserve love?

.

.

**Dear Diary..**

Should I really die?

.

.

**Dear Diary..**

I decided to let go..

 

.

.

 

**Dear Diary..**

Jongin-ah.. I.. I thought you were weird when I first saw you staring at my window, but to think of it, you might have of as weird as well. I mean who wont? A kid always sitting by the window and staring out side. Sorry if I freaked you out.

And who in the world names a tree? And the name willy is so funny, isn’t it?

But.. we became friends quickly, didn’t we?

Somehow, we clicked. Was it fate?

Thanks to you, I had a little fun. I had a friend in my lonely life. I had my first crush. Love. I had my lovely first time filled with love.

Because of you.. I experienced love. Thank you Jongin-ah.

You did so much for me, but I did nothing in return.

You gave joy to my soul yet have nothing to give you except a bunch of sorrys, I am sorry for being a gay, I am sorry for making you suffer.

I am sorry for.. loving you Jongin-ah, I am really sorry but I can’t help it.

May be in next life, I can be a girl and you can be my prince charming as always.

In that life, i hope, we can play together, go to school together. Fall in love, I can be your girlfriend and live happily.

Until then, goodbye my prince in tutu.

 

  
He closes the book, it’s snowing outside the window.

The first snow.

It’s falling just like his unstoppable tears. “ I am sorry.. I am sorry I couldn’t love you more”

He closes his eyes.

‘Untill then, Goodbye’

The hospital nurse runs to the special cancer patient’s room when she heard the machine beeping constantly.

 

Patient : Kim Jongin

Time of death : 12:01 am, January 13.


End file.
